Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween!


Saturday, October 30, 2010


Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Thursday, October 28, 2010


I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but for the life of me, I can't get my wife to go swimming!

Sunday, October 17, 2010


Today's lesson: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


If a group of midgets stand up at a football game to do the wave, shouldn't it be called a ripple?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Drunk Cops

For all you who celebrate Oktoberfest and need some lines in case you get caught driving drunk:

What seems to be the officer, problem?
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

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To my readers - remember, you are unique! Just like everyone else...

Sunday, October 3, 2010


They say women can fake orgasms, oh yeah? Well us men can fake whole relationships!

Friends and Pee

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Life and Alcohol

There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.


It's not that I'm afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

WIFF (What I Find Funny) Today!

So I was out looking for a job today, came across a babysitting position,
when they asked me if I had experience watching kids in the past, apparently,
"from my car" wasn't the answer they were looking for.